The Brother and the Carrot
by Kitsanken
Summary: Two brothers, a meeting, and a vegetable. Pure Crack. Sasuke, Itachi No Pairings


Title: **The Brother and the Carrot**  
Category: Anime/Manga » Naruto  
Author: Kitsanken, formerly known as Chiruken and/or Sandlewood996 and/or Kittsune  
Language: English, Rating: Fiction Rated: K  
Genre: Humor  
Published: 09-13-07, Updated: 09-13-07  
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,162

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**And no, I didn't "Steal" this fic from "Sandlewood996"...I've merely begun transferring all of my other fics from my "Sandlewood996" account to this one in an attempt to keep everything together and no confuse myself any further. (I have a horrible memory and trying to remember passwords for multiple accounts is a real pain.**

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**Naruto Fanfiction**

**ONE-SHOT**

_Naruto © Masashi Kishimoto Studio Pierrot TV Tokyo GAINAX Aniplex SME Visual Works Cartoon Network YTV (Canada) Viz Communications ShoPro Entertainment STUDIOPOLIS, Inc. Game One Kana Video Made In Europe Cartoon Network L.A. Xystus Artsound Mexico ABS-CBN Hero Mediaset Panini Video Italia Panini Video Cartoon Network L.A. (Brasil) Dublarte Shonen Jump (Japan) Shonen Jump (USA) Shueisha Glènat España Carlsen Comics Banzai! Japonica Polonica Fantastica (JPF) " Shonen Jump (Sweden)_

_All Fanfics created by Kitsanken (me) were written for the sole purpose of shared entertainment and not intended for publication or sale._

_**SUMMARY:** Two brothers, a meeting, and a vegetable. Pure Crack. Sasuke, Itachi No Pairings _

_**A/N: Blame Angel for this little bit of insanity...I do. This is the result of steamed carrots and boredom.** _

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_**The Brother and the Carrot**_

_**By: Kitsanken**_

Sasuke raced through the thinly forested area, gaze focused intently on the darkly clad figure just out of reach before him. Gritting his teeth in annoyance, he directed chakra to his legs and increased his speed. Just ahead, barely visible through the dimming light of dusk, he could see a small clearing. Skidding to a halt on the edge of the clearing he glared at the back of the all-too familiar figure waiting calmly in the centre of the gently swaying grassy area. Scowling, he slowly moved to the side, circling around as he watched for an opening to attack. "You won't get away this time."

The cloaked figure slowly turned towards him, lower half of his face concealed beneath a high collar. "Oh? Are you ready to face me, otouto?"

Sasuke suppressed the rising anger at the familiar mocking tones of his elder brother's voice. "Today the clan will finally be avenged!" Putting on a burst of speed, he reappeared on the other side of the clearing, staring at Itachi's back with a faint feeling of confusion when he didn't react immediately.

Squinting into the shadows, Itachi frowned slightly. "Otouto?" He queried softly, uncertainly when the shadows seemed to melt together. It appeared that his foolish younger brother had mastered the art of blending into his surroundings. Despite himself he was somewhat impressed. It was a difficult technique to learn. Perhaps Sasuke wasn't as hopeless as he'd first feared.

Sasuke scowled, convinced that this was yet another of his brother's underhanded tricks. "I'm over here." The scowl changed instantly to an expression of surprise when the older Uchiha's shoulders stiffened before he slowly turned to face him. "A-aniki?" He took an involuntary step back.

Itachi's eyes narrowed and he frowned. "Sasuke..." He began slowly, a strange, indecipherable look crossing his normally stoic features. "When did you start cross-dressing?" This was, in his opinion, a rather alarming turn of events.

"Wh-what?!" Of all the things he'd expected his murderous older brother of saying, that definitely wasn't it. Quickly recovering from his momentary shock, he allowed indignant anger to rise once again. "What the hell are you talking about?"

The elder Uchiha squinted almost imperceptibly into the growing darkness. "Oh?" He tilted his head to the side uncertainly. "It looks like a dress to me, otouto."

Gritting his teeth and clenching his hands into fists at his side, Sasuke forced his voice to remain under tight control. "It isn't a dress."

Tilting his head forward, Itachi squinted some more. "If it isn't a dress..." He began slowly, the underlying tones of confusion lacing his normally impassive voice. "Then what is it?"

"It's a shirt and pants, idiot! What the hell is wrong with you?" Itachi, naturally, chose to not answer, looking off to the side instead. Slowly, Sasuke's glare lessened as he continued to stare at his older brother, disbelief replacing the previous anger as his eyes widened with sudden understanding. "Oh my God!" He nearly choked on his discovery. "Y-you...you can't see?!"

"D-don't be absurd, otouto." He was thankful for the darkness covering the embarrassed flush rising into his cheeks. Shifting his gaze back to where he thought his younger sibling ought to be, he cleared his throat. "So...have you been training hard, otouto?"

"Don't try to change the subject." Sasuke shifted to the left, staring intently at his brother, a strange, unidentifiable emotion rising within him when Itachi didn't react. "I think I understand now." He mentally rubbed his hands together gleefully when Itachi startled and turned towards where he'd heard his voice. Oh, this is just priceless! He thought with vicious satisfaction.

Itachi frowned in the direction where he thought his younger brother's voice had come from. The darkness was working against him and he was becoming frustrated. "Understand what?" He asked carefully, tensing as he caught Sasuke's low and somewhat sadistic chuckle from the left.

"Oh yes, I understand completely now...why mother and father always insisted that I eat my carrots." The elder Uchiha remained silent, choosing instead to follow the sound of his brother's voice as he continued to move around the clearing. "They didn't want me turning out like you!" Sasuke chortled at his own witticism. "Blind as a bat 'cause you refused to eat your carrots!" Smirking, the Uchiha Avenger clenched his hand against the familiar hilt of his kunai and performed a basic henge jutsu. Oh, how he couldn't wait to see the look on his hated brother's face. "Hey, Itachi..." He disappeared and reappeared next to the older man. It's almost too easy... He thought with a frown. "Here!" His arm came down, the tranformed kunai aimed straight for his brother's chest.

Itachi's arm came up, blocking what would have certainly been a killing blow if his reflexes had been any slower. Up close, he stared intently at the object his younger brother had clenched in his fist. Eyes narrowing, he shifted his gaze to that of the young Uchiha. "No thank you." He shoved Sasuke away from him. "I happen to detest carrots, otouto."

Sasuke laughed outright and allowed the henge to drop, the carrot being replaced by the actual kunai. "Yeah, and look where it got you!"

Itachi scowled. "Oh, shut up." A small smirk curved his lips upwards. "If memory serves, otouto..." He closed his eyes and swiftly performed a substitution jutsu and left a clone in his place. "Mother and father had a slight problem with you and peas." The clone chuckled darkly. "Isn't that right, my cute little otouto?" There was a loud pop as his clone was dispersed. His laughter echoed long after Sasuke's enraged shout as he realized that his prey had once again managed to slip away.

_**OWARI!**_

_**Author's Notes:**_ _Sadly, after transferring my fics to my other account, I will lose all reviews. T_T_

_Because of this, I wish to thank everyone who left a comment under my other account (Sandlewood996):_

**Koji  
Medicinal Biscuit  
Angel**

Thank you ever so much for reading and taking the time to leave a review.


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